Final Chances
by Tender Falling Rain
Summary: A reflection on the end of the manga storyline. What happens when you are given a final chance and you fail to take advantage of it?


* * * *

When you're dead you see everything. You hear everything. You know everything. And as much as I used to wish all the misery went away when you died, I now know that it doesn't. So many regrets, so much left unsaid. I want to cry. But I can't, because I'm dead. I can feel, but I can't cry. And what have I done to deserve hell? To see this? I sacrificed my life for him to live and I get no reward? Instead I'm punished. Why oh why am I being punished like this? Is it because I made a mistake? Is it because I was wrong to not tell him how I felt, and now I have to deal with this regret? I thought it would be different. I thought I would find peace. All my troubles would be ended. No more crazy fiancée's. No more being kidnapped, no more being rescued, no more fights. Peace at last. Why can't I at least have peace at this time? 

I don't want to die. I'm too young. I could have been happy. I ruined my chances, but why can't I just have one more? One more chance. That's all I ask! Please, somebody, anybody. Let me go back. And if I can't, then please just take me away from here.

I'm still here, my love. Can't you see me? Please see me. Just for a moment can't our eyes meet and it will be as if we had really looked at each other. I see you. But I don't want to see you like this. I'm sorry I had to leave you. I didn't want to, but my sacrifice was worth it for you to live. Please live, even now that I am gone.

I listen to him cry out my name in agony. Oh gods, let me go, let me go! Why must I see this? I cover my ears but it does not block out the sounds. The sounds of your voice, and your thoughts. I can even hear your thoughts. 

"I wanted to tell you that I love you…"

Oh Ranma, I love you too. I wish I could've told you that.

Suddenly everything is dark. What is happening? Everything is gone. But I can still hear him. The sobbing, oh make it stop. Ranma.

"A-Akane?"

I slowly open my eyes. I see his face again. And he sees me. Then I'm really here? Can it be? Am I alive?

* * * *

I awake with a start. A dream. Nothing more than a dream. The same one I've had every night since Jusenkyo. It's all true though. I remember it all perfectly, down to the exact words that had floated through my head. The feelings I had then are almost identical to the feelings I have now. Only now I can cry, and I do. I was so scared. So scared.

Oh Ranma you dummy. I died. Don't you realize that you really did lose me? It wasn't just another close call. I was gone. It was our love that brought me back. The love that you still deny.

I know that you love me. I heard you say it. And I could feel it. Because when you're dead you see everything. You hear everything. You feel everything. And I love you too. But you don't know it, because while you ran away from me on the day of our wedding I told you, but you didn't hear me. And now I'm afraid to try again, because if you deny it then I don't know what will happen to me. I can't help feeling that I'm on borrowed time, that I'm not really supposed to be here. And that's why these dreams trouble me so much. They serve as a reminder that I was given another chance, and I'm wasting it. We're wasting it. I'm scared.

I can almost feel death at my door. Waiting to take the life that I stole away from it. But I'm afraid to do anything about it. Because Ranma, if you can't tell me that you love me after I have died, how will you ever be able to tell me now that I'm living? I don't have the time to wait for it anymore. Please, can't you just tell me that you love me, for my life depends on it.

* * * *

I realize something now. It isn't up to me. I have no choice in the matter. I was sent back for you. This is your second chance, not my own. When the dreams refused to end I went to you. I told you that I loved you. You couldn't say the same. You denied it, as I feared so greatly you would.

And your second chance is leaving you. I'm dying. It's funny how my illness can't be placed. They can't tell me what it is that I have. But I know what it is. It's simply that my life is being taken from me again, because you failed at your second chance. Now you're killing me, because you can't tell me how you feel. And I hate you because it is my life that's being taken instead of your own.

I died for you. My sacrifice wasn't for nothing because you may live, but you can't sacrifice yourself for me. I don't understand why. Maybe you need more time. Time isn't what we have. 

You come to see me everyday, but it doesn't matter anymore. I can no longer talk. I can't tell you just how important this is, that you tell me the truth before I leave for good. And I know I don't have much longer. I feel my life draining from me with every passing moment.

How long will it take you Ranma? Will it take another death before you confess? You can't live three times. Most people don't even get two. I know this now. I see everything, I feel everything and I know everything, because I am in between death and life.

I can still see you half through the eyes of a spirit and half through my own. Your eyes are streaked with tears as they were before. This will probably be my last few moments with him as I am alive.

"Akane, please don't die."

I don't want to. Tell me that you love me.

"Things won't be the same without you."

They don't have to be. Tell me that you love me.

"Don't leave me."

I don't want to. I love you.

He cries. Nothing else. He just cries. And I hear as the heart monitor goes flat. I no longer see through the eyes of someone that is living. He screams and grasps my hand which is no longer my own.

"Akane, I love you. No, please, don't leave me, I love you." He spoke it aloud this time.

It's too late.

* * * *

A/N: My apologizes for writing something so dark. It really annoys me that at the end of the Ranma 1/2 manga series, after Akane almost dies, Ranma and Akane STILL can't confess their feelings to each other. So this story kind of reflects my anger on that topic.


End file.
